facing fear

The past week was so challenging for me to say the least. I prayed and prayed throughout each and every day for God to help me overcome the spirit of fear, and to remind me that He is faithful to deliver. Indeed, when I look over my life I do see how God is faithful and merciful to me without fail, and how abundantly blessed I am, but I guess it's a human weakness, or my weakness, to forget that and panic whenever life throws out something apparently negative. But everything in life is subject to change, everything except God.

As I grow older, I find I have to come to terms with my frail human frame and my mortality. We have a vague notion of it when we are young, we think we are not afraid, but in actuality we never truly accept that we are not invincible. Then one day we are middle-aged and we gradually realise that we are subject to decay, and that our joy has to come from God and from within, and not be reliant on the external world or circumstances. The importance of truly living in the now, living each day to its fullest, suddenly becomes clearer than it has ever been. Yet it's strange, or sad, how, as I come to grasp this truth, I also seem to have become more anxious, more worried, than I ever was in my "younger days".

But as Jesus said, "... stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?" (Matt 6:25-27, Amplified Bible)

Like any frail human however, I am still miserably subject to my worries and fears, despite the fact that I know that God is my omniscient, omnipotent, all-powerful, Almighty father, that He is always with me, that He is my hope, my strength and my deliverer. I see that I need to more than just know this -- I need to know that I know that I know. It's like a muscle that I need to exercise regularly, a habit I have to build up, till one day I find that it is truly natural and instinctive in me to truly "cast my cares" on Him, and confidently trust to His mercy, goodness and love. I need to accept too, that no one is in control of their life, but that it is enough to know the One Who is. And in order to know God, we have to spend time with him, LOTS of time, and do our best to live our lives according to His commandments, for "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" (Galatians 5:6).

And so, as happens when we are panicky and fearful, I prayed and prayed with all my might, with heart and soul as bared as they could be. I prayed for strength and for deliverance, and I also prayed for comfort -- and in the midst of my distress, I suddenly did hear that "still, small voice". It said, "Psalm 56". (Now I must admit I've never been much of a psalm reader, and beyond the obvious ones like the 23rd, I don't know them very much at all (there are 150??). So really, hearing "Psalm 56" was like something just sort of dropping out of the sky. I even paused and asked, "Did you say Psalm 56 or 53?". Which was when I actually saw, in a visual way, the words "Psalm 56". So of course I'm like, okaaay... I'll go read that. And I'm so so glad I did:

BE MERCIFUL and gracious to me, O God, for man would trample me or devour me; all the day long the adversary oppresses me.

²They that lie in wait for me would swallow me up or trample me all day long, for they are many who fight against me, O Most High!

³What time I am afraid, I will have confidence in and put my trust and reliance in You.

⁴By [the help of] God I will praise His word; on God I lean, rely, and confidently put my trust; I will not fear. What can man, who is flesh, do to me?

⁵All day long they twist my words and trouble my affairs; all their thoughts are against me for evil and my hurt.

⁶They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they watch my steps, even as they have [expectantly] waited for my life.

⁷They think to escape with iniquity, and shall they? In Your indignation bring down the peoples, O God.

⁸You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle -- are they not in Your book?

⁹Then shall my enemies turn back in the day that I cry out; this I know, for God is for me.

¹⁰In God, Whose word I praise, in the Lord, Whose word I praise,

¹¹In God have I put my trust and confident reliance; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

¹²Your vows are upon me, O God; I will render praise to You and give You thank offerings.

¹³For You have delivered my life from death, yes, and my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life and of the living.

I cannot begin to describe how much this uplifted me, reassured me, helped me to press on, to "do it afraid" -- reminded me that YES! God IS faithful to deliver. And it's true -- HE DID DELIVER ME YET AGAIN. O Lord, help me to remember this every time I must confront my fears, remembering as David did when he had to confront Goliath, how in the past the Lord had helped him slay a lion and bear.

And even now, as I still struggle with my fearful thoughts, I will declare, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7).

B's poem

In the ocean blue,
Sea creatures we welcome you!
And as you grant our wishes,
We award you with treats delicious
So in the ocean blue,
Sea creatures we welcome you!

first haircut

After being told by several people, and then finally the vet, that Kip's hair was "kinda long", I started seriously looking around for a decent groomer. Which was when I learned that the reputable ones I might maybe perhaps trust were a) really really far from where I live and b) cost a mint.

So -- lightbulb moment -- I decided to trim her myself. The thing is, I never had a problem with Kip's scruffy look; I actually like her like that. And I've always been pretty conscientious about keeping her clean and brushed, so she doesn't have any mats or skin issues. But I had to agree with the vet that giving her a trim would cut down the increasing tangles, and help her keep cooler and drier.


Me? Too long?

No look, really?

Sigh, ok, if you say so.

And so me, who had only ever had to deal with Labrador/Alsatian/Beagle types in the past (read super easy grooming issues), got myself a dog trimmer.

This is what we ended up with:

While certainly not professional-groomy-perfect, I think it's okaaay, and I have to admit she looks neater and cooler (in the less warm sense). Well practise makes perfect they say (and saving 100 bucks each time certainly doesn't hurt)!

Tam and Nine

A postcard perhaps?

R and her Sailor Ghost..

.. waiting to go out.

R and Tamsin discuss what to play next.

a pure heart

"See now that ye love one another" (1 Peter 1:22). Obviously, this love is not a wild plant that will grow of itself. It is there in the heart by a divine planting, but it must be cultivated... The human heart must be cultivated; we must work on it. We must pray, search the Word, obey, believe and humble ourselves, opening our minds to the incoming Holy Ghost so that we might cultivate and see that we love one another.

How? "With a pure heart." No other kind of heart can love purely; because for the heart to love purely it must love unselfishly. Unselfish love does not exploit its object and it does not ask anything in return. That is so lofty that the modern world knows little or nothing about it.

This true love is to be demonstrated "fervently." God hates everything that is halfway. He hates half-minded people... "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways" (Jas 1:8)...

Then Peter talks about being lukewarm. Is a bottle half full of something or half empty? Is lukewarm water half warm or half cold? Is a half Christian a half sinner and half Christian? I do not know, but I do know this: God will sweep the whole business out together. He will have nothing to do with half stuff. Did He say we are to be full unto the half fullness of God? Never. For God to say a thing like that, He would not be God. Filled unto the fullness of God, He said, not unto the half fullness. God has nothing to do with half-full things. He gives us a whole day, not a half day; He gives us a whole personality, not a half personality; a whole mind, not a half mind; a whole salvation, not a half salvation. And He expects our love to be a whole love, fervent and not half cold. "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth" (Rev. 3:16).

Think it over. See that you have purified your soul by believing the truth through the Spirit unto one thing, love of the brethren. See to it that love goes to work and you really do love each other fervently out of a pure heart.

(A.W. Tozer, Living As A Christian -- Teachings from First Peter)

R does not think Meg should go to a new home.

Meg

Custom order. Intriguing green fabric with rain cloud.

R and her new Roro

portrait

Father in Heaven who lovest all,
Oh, help Thy children when they call;
That they may build from age to age
An undefiled heritage.

Teach us to bear the yoke in youth,
With steadfastness and careful truth;
That, in our time, Thy Grace may give
The Truth whereby the Nations live.

Teach us to rule ourselves alway,
Controlled and cleanly night and day;
That we may bring, if need arise,
No maimed or worthless sacrifice.

Teach us to look in all our ends
On Thee for judge, and not our friends;
That we, with Thee, may walk uncowed
By fear or favour of the crowd.

Teach us the Strength that cannot seek,
By deed or thought, to hurt the weak;
That, under Thee, we may possess
Man's strength to comfort man's distress.

Teach us Delight in simple things,
And Mirth that has no bitter springs;
Forgiveness free of evil done,
And Love to all men 'neath the sun!

(From Rudyard Kipling's The Children's Song)

The only kid in ballet class with a winged heart on her head.

So B finally cut her hair. About 5 or 6 inches' worth. But no one noticed.

sailors

R and her Sailor Ghost.

(You can have your own Sailor Ghost here)

cryptic, profound truth

Today while waiting outside the supermarket with B, we see a little girl about 4 years old playing with the ATM there. I say to B, "Look, that little girl is doing what you and R like to do -- pressing buttons like crazy".

And B replies, "That's the point of kids".

And now R wants to keep Tig. (I said no). (For now).
(The adorable top is from a lovely lady at Ginger Ale Shop)

Tig goes for a walk

He's always up for adventure :)
(Available here)

do a dance of joy

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 18:1-3).

not bad for a 2-year-old

Masterly painting technique and choice of colours :)

Tiggy

There was this tiger who woke up one morning and just felt great. He just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

The poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course -- no one is mightier than you."

A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "O great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."

The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered on up to an elephant who was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"

Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black, and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree.

The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad".

This fellow makes me really happy -- he has such a good attitude, he's so cheerful. He's all the childish joyousness of parties, carnivals and fun fairs :)
(Tiggy is available here)

Getting some fresh air. In the shop now.

B has decided she doesn't want to cut her hair. For now.

sailor ghost

I love anything nautical. And striped. And smiling.
(Sailor Ghost is available here)

Several googly-eyed Roros get ready for their new owners.

"it shall be life"

Thus, if there are afflictions, there are also comforts: great consolations, great chastisements. There is a comforter, and there is a chastener. Every man must taste of death: every man must taste of life. It shall not be all bitter nor all sweet for any. It shall be life. The unseen ministers of a stupendous equity have their eyes and their hands about every man’s portion; ‘as it is written, he that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.’

It is the same earth for all; the same earth for the dead, great and small; dust to dust. The same earth for the living. ‘Thorns, also, and thistles shall it bring forth,’ and God provides the flowers too.

(J. Sheridan Le Fanu, Wylder's Hand)

~* the shop is up! *~

The Bikbik & Roro shop is up! Well, the skeleton of it is anyway (technicalities sure are a chore). With God's help it shall be officially open in the next few days (weeks?), with a few Bikbiks and Roros :)

Mrs Harriet Maybell-Winthrop

OK, I don't really know her name. But wasn't she a beauty?

having a great life

The other day a nice customer service lady at one of the major clothing companies was emailing me about my order, and in closing she wrote the usual, "Hope you're having a great weekend".

It was a routine, standard courtesy and I don't think she expected any response from me, but on the spur of the moment I decided to write this back:

"YES, I am having a great weekend really. I've been enjoying myself with my kids, spending so much fun time with them, shopping, eating well, and then having a lovely peaceful home to return to to rest and relax. I am so blessed!

I realise as I get older that it really boils down to one's attitude, doesn't it. like, you could choose to fixate on something that you think isn't right in your life and let that get you down, or you can choose to rise above it and be grateful for all the blessings you do have.

more and more I see that it is wasteful to think that you'd be happy when such and such happens.. like you'll be happy when your knee stops aching or when you've gotten or done whatever.. you have to choose to be happy NOW, whatever your circumstances, and not waste any time worrying or fretting about the future or what you cannot change.. being happy and content really has to be a conscious choice one makes".

I apologised if that was too much information, but explained that I had been contemplating life a lot lately. Now I didn't expect any response from her (except perhaps a mental rolling of the eyes at her end), but this is what she wrote back:

"You are so right. Life is way too short to get caught up in the little things. Thank you for sharing that. I needed to read that and be reminded. It really did make my day".

Honestly, I felt SO happy when I read that. You just never know when, how and to whom you can be a help and a blessing, however small.