be a joyrider

Let’s say you're taking the train home. If you were to get on the wrong train, it probably wouldn’t take you too long to realise it. After the first wrong station or so, you’d likely feel a little annoyed, dismayed, anxious even. And – unless you enjoyed wasting time or getting lost - if you had any sense at all – you’d get off as soon as you could and get on the right train.

It’s funny how we know how to do that, but when it comes to our thoughts… We get started on a wrong train of thought, and more times than not, we just stay on! The stupid part is, sometimes we’re actually aware that we’re going in the wrong direction, and we’re conscious that we’d better stop and get off quick before it’s too late – but we don’t!

What is it that makes us keep getting on those wrong trains, and then staying on? We start thinking of whatever our apparently negative situation is, and then we start embroidering it, adding our self-blame, our anxiety, our what-if thinking, and our negativity. We add on station after station of wrong thinking, until we’re so far gone that we don’t know how to get back where we should be. I imagine these wrong trains as rides out into the wilderness or to nowhere – they’re like a downward spiral into depression and despair.

And it’s one thing to go on these miserable rides once or twice, but to do it repeatedly? No sane person would keep taking the wrong train home every day, yet I think this is what many of us do with our thought life. We know that going in that wrong direction will only lead to misery and torment, and yet we get on anyway – out of habit, if nothing else. It’s almost as if we develop this perverse addiction to negativity. But how can we expect or hope for good, positive results in our lives if we keep on that way?

For me, I’ve found that one way to get out of that pointless round of going-miles-in-the-wrong-direction-and-then-struggling-to-get-back-to-the-right-one, is to consciously STOP myself the moment I’m tempted to start off on that wrong track. And I know from experience when I’m about to – it usually starts with “what if…” or “if only…” or some other non-joyful, non-helpful, non-victorious thing.

I can literally feel the joy oozing out of me the moment I start, I can literally feel my mouth going down at the corners, my shoulders slumping, I can literally feel myself getting tired, cranky, or short-tempered. Sometimes I even start first thing in the morning, when I’ve barely opened my eyes; somehow in that sleepy haze I’m more than able to start focusing on every apparently negative thing I can think of and even add to them with my boundless imagination. It’s a miserable ride.

So I actively STOP myself – really, I literally tell myself, “Stop it! Just STOP IT!” Remember Philippians 4:8? “… whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honourable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them] (Amplified).

Right away, I ask God to help me, to give me the strength and grace to fix my mind on the right things. I ask Him to help me resist the temptations of worry, self-pity and negativity, and remember that I am more than a conqueror in Christ, and that He is faithful to deliver. The fact is, we are in control of what train we get on, for God has given us a spirit of power, a well-balanced mind, discipline and self-control (2 Tim 1:7) – we can choose our direction, our thoughts, we can decide whether or not to let ourselves go downhill and be ruled by our worry and negativity. If we actively get on the right train, filling our minds with the right thoughts, there just won't be room for the bad ones.

And then go do something positive, productive, joyful or plain fun.

From experience, I realise now that it helps a lot to keep close to God all the time, not just when I’m really desperate. If I try to walk closely with God all the time, then I find that it gets easier and easier to stop myself and get off that wrong train. In fact, it gets easier to avoid it altogether, because I'm already heading in the right direction. I actively remind myself that

"... the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!" (Isaiah 30:18). Isn't that wonderful?

As with any bad addiction, I think that resisting the temptation to give in to it when one is most tempted, is the best way to effectually beat it. Striving to establish the right mindset at all times really helps with this I think; if one establishes a good spiritual foundation in one’s everyday life, if one habitually walks in God’s love, joy and peace, it’s a lot easier to stop wrong thoughts in their tracks.

Colossians 3 for example is full of useful advice for this: “… set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth…

⁵So kill (deaden, deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God)...

⁸But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips!

⁹Do not lie to one another, for you have stripped off the old (unregenerate) self with its evil practices,

¹⁰And have clothed yourselves with the new [spiritual self], which is [ever in the process of being] renewed and remolded into [fuller and more perfect knowledge upon] knowledge after the image (the likeness) of Him Who created it…

¹²Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper].

¹³Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

¹⁴And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony].

¹⁵And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

¹⁶Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts".

As Carlene Carter sang more secularly -

We won't turn back, we got some place to be
A better life ahead for the likes of you and me
Leave our sorrows behind
That was a bad old time we had
We're gettin' off a nowhere train

loving today

1. Art deco honey glass bracelet by Pinguim
2. Eco-friendly faux suede flower clutch by Milk & Honey Handbags
3. Shadowbox pendant and brooch with golden butterfly by Kathi Roussel
4. Clandestine "Treasure Trove" necklace by Julie Nolan Jewelry
5. Vintage librarian chic pleated wool skirt by Darling Vintage
6. Antique porcelain hand-painted doll leg necklace by Contrary

be happy now

Of late, the Lord has been dealing increasingly with me on my bad habit of worrying and wasting the present. It really is such a bad habit to jump ahead into the future and think "what if" type thoughts. I mean, it's one thing to jump ahead and think postive, uplifting thoughts, but if you're going to be all negative and self-defeating... The stupid thing is that it's just so pointless! We simply can't know the future. All we know is what we have here and now - if we keep anxiously jumping ahead, we're losing the present, what we do actually have.

There's no other way to put it, and I can only say it again and again - worrying is completely pointless, and it is a total waste of time, a total waste of the now that we do have. Luke 12:25 says, "And which of you by being overly anxious and troubled with cares can add a cubit to his stature or a moment [unit] of time to his age [the length of his life]?" (Amplified).

I've been reading Present Perfect, by psychologist Pavel Somov. The book is about "a mindfulness approach to letting go of perfectionism and the need for control". Dr Somov makes many pertinent points, including, ' "Any time you're thinking about something that no longer is or about something that isn't yet, you are thinking about something that doesn't exist. And any time you are thinking about something that doesn't exist, you're not thinking about something that does exist. Put differently, you are missing out on life. Here's how a great Soviet Georgian philosopher, Merab Mamardashvilli, conveyed the existential suicide of rumination and worry: "We often get stuck on that which does not exist. And, in so doing, we cease to exist ourselves" ' (p130 - 31).

Dr Somov's book is intelligently and well-written, but it does not factor in the powerful advantage we Christians have - God. So besides the sheer torment and pointlessness of worry and negativity from a practical standpoint, there is also the power of God at work in us and for us. Our perspective should be greater, higher, reaching beyond our small, earthly confines. The Word is full of encouragement, comfort and reassurance for all our challenging times, and I've found it helps enormously to focus on them and even repeat them out loud in faith.

For example,

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God (Phil 4:6).

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully (1 Peter 5:7).

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favour to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it] (Heb 4:16).

The Lord is my Strength and my [impenetrable] Shield; my heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song will I praise Him (Ps 28:7).

Unless the Lord had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in [the land where there is] silence. When I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up.
In the multitude of my [anxious] thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul! (Ps 94:17-19).

For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you! (Isa 41:13).

I am heartily sick of fretting myself. The Bible says, "This is the day which the Lord has brought about". I will rejoice - yes, make a conscious decision, discipline myself, deliberately choose - and be glad in it.

I can't keep saying "I will be happy when...", even subconsciously, for isn't that what I'm doing when I'm not choosing to be happy now? Why wait to be happy when? Why not just be happy NOW? We can't know the future, but it is enough that we know the One who does.

(And the picture above? It's the kids managing to have an enormous amount of fun with nothing in a tiny changing room).

inner peace

Someone just sent this to me; I think it's one of those mass emails that's been around for awhile, but it's the first time I've received it, and I couldn't help chuckling a little. It's so true though isn't it - animals and kids - we can learn so much from them!

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat plain food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably .......

The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual didn't you?

Hep Cat

I will be making him a real flag to hold. In the meantime, a message for everyone.

loving today

1. Holding bowl dendritic agate ring by SunnyRising Metal
2. Carnelian and agate sterling silver earrings by Little Cherry Hill
3. Central Pup print by Wonting
4. Hand-built pretty gingko plate by Sumiko
5. Lichen beds sterling silver and copper necklace by Revelate
6. Skinny vase in one of a kind key pattern by Jill Rosenwald

happy. yup.

So I went for my appointment today, and almost needless to say, God faithfully saw me through.

As I was on my way there in the cab, you can imagine how I was endeavouring to keep my mind fixed on God and his goodness and all that. And you can also imagine how every now and then an anxious, negative thought would try to squeeze its way in. Well, I can tell you from experience now – you DON’T have to think them. As you would with that old man of the sea, don’t even let one word of your crappy thoughts start. SHAKE IT OFF.

“… SET your minds and KEEP THEM SET on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth… And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always] (Colossian 3:2, 15, Amplified).

But anyway, while my mind was engaged in its battle, lo and behold, what should slowly pass us by there on the highway, but one of those massive container trucks. Printed in large clear letters across the length of its huge tan body were the words: JESUS WILL CARRY YOUR LOAD.

Yup.

(And I deliberately wore my happy shirt today).

on fear and the adventures of sinbad

Illustration for Sinbad the Sailor by Edmund Dulac

2 Timothy 1:7 in the Amplified Bible says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control".

While praying about overcoming the spirit of fear and negativity today, I suddenly had a revelation, a sort of vision, which -– while strangely incongruous under the circumstances -– really captured the whole "thing" that we do to ourselves when we let ourselves become anxious or fearful. And yes –- I say "let", because it is something we allow to happen; we permit the spirit of fear to rule us.

Almost like a tiny little film clip, I saw… Sinbad and the old man of the sea.

I know -– huh?

I literally saw the character of Sinbad with a horrible old man sitting upon his shoulders; this monster was torturing Sinbad and making his life a misery until Sinbad finally shook him off. I took this all in in about 3 seconds flat, but it was a thought-provoking revelation for me nonetheless.

Needless to say, after I finished my prayers, I went to look up the story. It seems that on Sinbad’s fifth voyage, he encounters an apparently weak and decrepit old man on a desert island. The old man signs to Sinbad that he wants Sinbad to take him up and carry him on his back across a stream so that he can pick some fruit. Sinbad lets the old man get on his back and carries him over, but when he tries to get him off, the old man tightens his legs about Sinbad's throat and refuses.

In Antoine Galland's translation, Sinbad continues the story thus: "Notwithstanding my fainting, the ill-natured old fellow kept fast about my neck, but opened his legs a little to give me time to recover my breath. When I had done so, he thrust one of his feet against my stomach, and struck me so rudely on the side with the other, that he forced me to rise up against my will. Having got up, he made me walk under the trees, and forced me now and then to stop, to gather and eat fruit such as we found. He never left me all day, and when I lay down to rest by night, he laid himself down with me, always holding fast about my neck. Every morning he pushed me to make me wake, and afterwards obliged me to get up and walk, and pressed me with his feet. You may judge then what trouble I was in, to be loaded with such a burden as I could by no means rid myself of".

Well! That sure sounds like me when I’m carrying a burden of worry or fear!

Happily, as with all Sinbad’s adventures, this one ends well; Sinbad gets the old man drunk, the old man falls off, and Sinbad crushes his head to pieces with a stone. How would you like to crush your fears to death?

The story continues, "I was extremely rejoiced to be freed thus for ever from this cursed old fellow, and walked along the shore of the sea, where I met the crew of a ship that had cast anchor to take in water to refresh themselves. They were extremely surprised to see me, and to hear the particulars of my adventures. 'You fell,' said they, 'into the hands of the old man of the sea, and are the first that has ever escaped strangling by him. He never left those he had once made himself master of till he destroyed them, and he has made this island famous for the number of men he has slain; so that the merchants and mariners who landed upon it dared not advance into the island but in numbers together".

What does this curious revelation mean to me? Simply this – don’t let the monster of fear rule you. Don't let it master you till it destroys you. Whenever you’re tempted to let it gain a foothold in your life – SHAKE IT OFF.

The old man of the sea reminds me of the apostle Peter’s words: "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour" (1 Peter 5:8).

If someone warned me that there was such a monster lying in wait – whether it be the demon of fear or worry or negativity or despair – I should certainly endeavour to avoid it altogether. But if I had to confront it – and in life we probably will have to – then – like the sailors who ensured that they did not venture forth unless they were empowered by the strength of their numbers – I would ensure that I was empowered by God, by His Holy Spirit dwelling within me and filling me with divine peace, comfort, hope and strength.

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled] (italics mine, John 14:27).

As I confront my fears once again, I remind myself -– yes, the way David reminded himself of God’s faithfulness when he had to confront Goliath, "The Lord Who delivered me out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear, He will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine" –- God IS more powerful than any monster I have to face, and HE IS FAITHFUL.

(And, while I'm on the topic, I could perhaps learn a thing or two from Sinbad, whose fearlessness and zest for life filled volumes in the Arabian Nights. For indeed, while life does have its share of monsters, serpents and sundry crazy people, it is also full of joy, wonder and treasures untold).

loving today

1. Vintage ring of bows velveteen fascinator hat by Studio 1950
2. Black porcelain necklace by Lok Ming Fung
3. Amusing felt kitty necklace by Tie Story
4. Doily porcelain brooch by and O Design
5. Black tumbler B by Eri Pottery
6. The pouch - A leash bag by Cody’s Creations

sticker dolly dressing

OK - the success of this series of books with my young daughters is so phenomenal that I feel compelled to share them with everyone. They're Sticker Dolly Dressing books by Stella Baggott et al for Usborne Activities. There are a whole bunch to choose from, including Fairies, Popstars and On Holiday, or the ones shown above, Fashion Long Ago, Dancers, and Princesses (ours is the French version).

The thematic paperback books have all sorts of different characters and little stories inside, and they're pretty educational too. The people start out in their underwear, against an appropriate backdrop, and it's up to your little one (or you) to dress them. The pages of stickers in the middle - literally tons of them - are easy to peel and manage for even 3-year-old fingers (they're reusable too and there are extras your child could use for her own crafts), and all the illustrations are bright and pretty.

Checking them out on Amazon today, I saw that Usborne had other cool sticker books as well, including ones for boys, and interesting ones like Around The World, Airport, and Art. My girls looooove them and I'd definitely recommend them as things-to-keep-your-kids-occupied-and-quiet-for-a-bit while you try to get something done.

loving today

1. Long pink umba sapphire necklace by LexLuxe
2. Peony ring by Made For An Angel
3. Marie Antoinette cupcake wreath by Wreaths N Dolls
4. Dreaming - Vintage collage necklace by Lonkoosh
5. French macaron goat's milk soap by KcSoapsNmore
6. Martinique porcelain coral ring by MaaPstudio

on families and keeping close

(Photograph by Shiho Fukada for The New York Times)

I read an article in The New York Times today headlined “Monuments to Clan Life Lose Appeal for Chinese”, by Edward Wong. It was about the earthen buildings – tulou in Mandarin – of Yongding, China, built by the ethnic Hakka and Minnan people of rural Fujian Province. These buildings housed entire clans – generations of families – making each one almost a village. The tulou would usually have four floors, and hundreds of rooms, with a massive central courtyard, many being round; others square or rectangular. Everyone living in a tulou would have the same surname, except for those who married into the clan.

The article says that tulou construction ended in the last century. It seems that as China’s clan traditions decline – and increasing numbers of people moving out of the tulou to live in modern apartments – the art of building these architectural wonders is dying. Mr Wong writes that the United Nations is seeking to preserve surviving tulou, and Unesco declared 46 tulou together to be a World Heritage Site in 2008. A UNESCO museum in one of the tulou says the structures were built between the 13th and 20th centuries.

“Perhaps the most famous tulou is the 17^th-century, 402-room Chengqi lou, which has concentric ringsof homes and alleys on its ground floor,” Mr Wong writes. “Its diameter is about 100 metres. The people here are surnamed Jiang”. The photograph above, by Shiho Fukida, shows Chengqi lou. Isn’t it amazing? (More tulou pictures can be seen at architecturelist.com and UNESCO World Heritage Sites).

Mr Wong quotes in his article: ‘“People don’t clean it anymore,” said Jiang Qing, 28, as she stood on an upper balcony of the 500-year-old Huan Xing tulou, whose name means “embracing prosperity.” “As long as people live here, the ecosystem thrives. Once people move out, then it all falls apart.”’

While I was fascinated by the article, I also felt a little, I guess, wistful. Whether migrating from a tulou to modern Hong Kong as many of the Chinese in this article are, or just moving our of your parents’ home when you’re 18 – I think it’s sort of sad, and perhaps reflective of the times, that families are not as close, and close-knit, as they used to be. "Once people move out, then it all falls apart".

It’s common for us Chinese to live with our parents, and even grandparents and great-grandparents, even after marriage – I think it’s based on the Confucian ideal of filial piety, which lauds respect for one’s parents and ancestors (filial piety is considered the highest of Chinese virtues, and covers a variety of things, including being good to, and taking care of one's parents).

My own family and many of my friends do have several generations living within the same house, which, while occasionally infuriating or just plain trying, is I think a great way to keep the family close, building strong ties, learning from each other, and best of all, having love and support whenever they – or you – need it. It’s not unusual for us, but I realised some time ago that many of my Western friends found it so.

Not too long back there was a bit of a hoo-ha when a certain American student uploaded a video on YouTube, voicing her feelings about Asians. In her public monologue, she referred to the Asians who lived around her, saying, “… their moms and their brothers and their sisters and their grandmas and their grandpas and their cousins and everybody that they know that they brought along from Asia with them – comes here on the weekends to do their laundry, buy their groceries and cook their food for the week… it’s seriously without fail... you will always see old Asian people running around this apartment complex every weekend, that’s what they do, they don’t teach their kids to fend for themselves”.

While I found the video itself laughable – and at the same time vaguely sad – the young lady was right in observing that many Asian families do like getting together as often as possible and doing domestic things like that. It’s not that we don’t teach our kids to fend for themselves – though I’m sure there are families like that regardless of culture – it’s just that we love the closeness that doing such familial things together brings, the love that it exemplifies. And I’m sure there are many families the world over who understand and do that, Asian or otherwise.

What’s sad is that this young lady is voicing the view that many people today have – that having a cohesive family, being with them like that, spending so much time together, is somehow inexplicable, embarrassing even, and reflects a lack of maturity or independence. While striking out on one’s own is of course important and a part of growing up, I think it’s equally important to stay connected with where one came from. So often you hear of young people out on their own somewhere, indulging in all the follies of youth, uncaring of the wisdom of the older generations, ruining their own lives – and others too – in their pride and ignorance. Having a strong parental or familial presence in their lives could go a long way in helping to keep such individuals grounded in the right values, for the betterment not only of themselves, but of society as well.

“Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee,” it says in Deuteronomy 5:16, “that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee”.

For it is in the very act of honouring one’s parents, in caring about one’s family, that one learns respect, patience, tolerance, responsibility, kindness, accountability and love – some of the things that surely this world needs a lot more of.

PS: Go call your Mom ;)

waiting

Custom order Cat-Cat waiting to be filled. The mini bell-filled Rabbit will be going to the pampered pooch of a dear customer (please be gentle, Piper!).

loving today

1. Triangle beadwork and chains necklace by Gather Jewelry
2. Fleur Noire 3 earrings by María Goti Joyas
3. Labradorite drape earrings by Amy Olson Jewelry
4. Robyn art deco beaded headband by Bethany Lorelle
5. Black rose in chains bracelet by Jillian1984
6. White bird nest hanging clock by Joom

walk the walk

At our recent church service, our pastor was talking (again) about evangelising, and how important it is for us to actively approach people and tell them about Christ. As part of his sermon, he even had us turn to our neighbour to tell the person something about God and what He had done for us (obviously most of us had nothing to say in those brief, awkward minutes).

Well now clearly I'm all for sharing the Good News with everyone; I think it's so important to tell people who don't know God about His power and goodness, and what better way than to share one's own personal experiences. But I think that that can only be done if the person himself is wanting to know, is seeking that greater knowledge of God.

I'm not so sure about just going up to random people and launching into a whole spiel about how great Christianity is and why you need to be good and save your soul. The pastor even told us how some thugs wanted to beat him up for staring at them, but when he told them he wanted to share the Gospel with them, they immediately beat a hasty retreat. Honestly, I really think people who aren't seeking God just won't want to stop and listen to you.

BUT, they might stop and watch you, and they'll see if you live a holy life, if you really are a witness for Christ, if you actually walk the walk. If you go around depressed and fearful, bad-tempered and unkind, critical, harsh, uncaring or intolerant, then it'd be pretty hard to believe you're a victorious Christian. But if you show yourself to always be full of the fruits of the Holy Spirit...

What are these fruits? Love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), and self-control (self-restraint, continence) (from Galatians 5:22, Amplified). They are the "fruits" that a Christian should be producing in his or her life. They are of the Spirit -- the Holy Spirit -- which means they come from God, not us. We need God's help to develop these qualities in ourselves (for I'm sure most of us know we are quite some ways from having or achieving them on our own), and so we must pray for -- and practise -- them in our lives till they are truly natural to us, part of our own characters, and visible for all the world to see.

Matthew 7:16 says "You will fully recognise them by their fruits". Do people recognise us Christians by our fruits, the way we live? Sadly, I don't think that's always so.

I think it would be so much better to do as St. Francis of Assisi said: Preach the gospel always -- if necessary use words.

Coincidentally, I just received this "Weekly Wisdom" from Christ Notes, entitled "A mature Christian "preaches" with his or her life":

Many times we try to talk people into accepting Jesus, but yet we fail to show them Jesus; we don't act any differently than the rest of the world, even though we claim to be saved. The world isn't looking for talk; it wants walk. Therefore, we, as Christians, must live differently: stop telling, and start showing.

Matthew 7:20 tells us how to recognize truly mature Christians: "by their fruit." Stop worrying about the outward show that you put on in front of your friends, and start developing the Fruit of the Spirit in your inner life (see Galatians 5:22-23). Then once you have learned to be kind, gentle, peaceful and joyful even during difficult circumstances, non-Christians will see you and say to themselves, "I want what you've got." Then, you will be able to share Jesus with them effectively.

We need to develop the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives. Interestingly, the first Fruit mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23 is "love." Furthermore, in John 13:35, Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." In other words, love ought to be the trademark of every believer.

It is by living a life of love that you make the world hungry and thirsty for the joy, kindness, patience, peace, and stability that you have. The world isn't reading the Bible; they're reading Christians like you. And if they don't like what they see in you, they're not going to want what you've got—Jesus.

From Christ Notes' Weekly Wisdom

loving today

1. Help save the moon bear print by PenelopeandPip
2. Round green prehnite ring by PurifiedArt
3. Ceramic Scarab pendant bead by Pinguim
4. Secret love agate and sterling silver ring by SuperSweetSilver
5. Nature Lover necklace by GalleryDarrow
6. The Elmer by RumourHasIt

cats & dog

Custom order Cat-Cats and Doggy waiting to be finished.

loving today

I realised that I spend a great deal of time exploring the Internet, delighting in the brilliant, beautiful work of the many talented artists and artisans around the world. And so I decided I simply had to share these wonderfully creative treasures with everyone, with a fairly regular collection of gorgeousness that's caught my eye. I believe too that there is a plethora of undiscovered talent out there, and oftentimes their lovely creations get overlooked, so hopefully my little contributions will help them get discovered. Enjoy!

1. Grand Key necklace by Betsy & Iya
2. Organic silver egg necklace by Jewelry by Natsuko
3. Simple Scallop Personalized Pendant necklace by BrookeArin
4. Clustered Cup Copper Enamel Necklace by Teka & Zoe
5. Fig silver and fabric necklace by 3squares
6. Double Bunting Beadwoven necklace by La Bella Joya

my Radar -- who died today, aged 7

My sweet, beautiful Radar has died. I miss him so much and the most terrible part of my sadness is the great self-reproach I feel, the conviction that I didn’t spend as much time with him as I should I have, didn’t show him how much I love him. I don’t think I even realised how much I loved him till now, but isn’t that how it is…

I had adopted Radar as a companion to Bonnie, my other bunny, and wonderfully, they bonded right away and were never apart from the moment they met. They did everything together… playing, eating, grooming, sleeping… both of them resting close against each other on a lazy afternoon was a perfect picture of domestic bliss. In fact they were always close against each other... And so, I felt myself somehow relieved of having to do as much cuddling as I used to. Sitting with his lifeless body this morning, I wished I could stroke his back again, so that he’d stretch out flat for the full enjoyment of it, and rub between his ears the way he liked, but of course it was too late.

Thankfully, I have the blessed assurance that Radar is not completely gone; I sense his joyful, friendly spirit around me, relaxed and easygoing as always, but o! I miss him so! Take from my grief now the lesson that we all know in our hearts, but so often neglect in our busy everyday lives – show, show, show your loved ones how much you love them while you can, that you will not know the pain and despair of remorse and self-reproach, but will be comforted by the knowledge that you made their lives as happy and fulfilled as could be.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.

Mary Elizabeth Frye

on walking in love

As I've been seeking to grow in my walk with God, I've learnt that an important part of it is paying closer attention to the way I treat others. Love, I think, is a very central theme of Christianity; in Mark ch 12, we read:

²⁸Then one of the scribes came up and listened to them disputing with one another, and, noticing that Jesus answered them fitly and admirably, he asked Him, Which commandment is first and most important of all [in its nature]?

²⁹Jesus answered, The first and principal one of all commands is: Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God is one Lord;

³⁰And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment.

³¹The second is like it and is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

Well, much as we'd like to do this, we all know how easy it is not to, and yet at the same time, I'm sure we'd all agree that the world would be such a wonderful, wonderful place if everyone loved their neighbour as themselves. Wars, crimes, all the terrible things of the world -- if only we all truly knew how to love one another. But with our carnal natures, it is something we must consciously aim to do, constantly, with everyone, under every circumstance. We need to pray perseveringly for God's help with this.

When I about 11, I was part of the choir in a school pageant. The choir was physically divided into two parts on the left and right hand sides of the stage. This was done because at one part of the performance, the actor playing the little girl asks her actor parents, "How do wars begin?"

The parents then start propounding their own views on the subject, but being unable to come to an agreement, or to even agree to disagree, their debate descends into a full-scale fight. The chorus aids this chaos by shouting on the one hand, "No it isn't!", and on the other, "Yes it is!" -- back and forth -- until the girl's voice pipes up, with the choir singing in parentheses, "Now I know [said the little girl, with a great big grin] -- you have shown me clearly how all our wars begin".

For some reason, though this pageant was at least 3 hours long, and we were practising for it for months, this is the only part of the whole thing I remember. Perhaps it was because we actually enjoyed shouting back and forth like that. I wonder if it somehow reflects that human relish for discord and disunity. For we are such great believers in being right, in having our way, in not being taken advantage of -- we do not know what it means to walk in love, to be adaptable to others, to have the attitude of a servant.

You may have heard the phrase "love covers a multitude of sins"; it is one of numerous phrases from the Bible that the secular world has picked up and likes to use sentimentally. It is from 1 Peter 4:8, and in its entirety reads, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins". In the Amplified Bible it reads, "Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]".

I believe it's so very, very important for everyone, and especially Christians, to walk in this love. Yet how often do we find ourselves being rude, unhelpful and intolerant, saying harsh, cruel things, even thinking unkind, sarcastic, mean thoughts. No -- let us aim, and keep aiming, to walk in love, to be of service to others, to put others before ourselves.

We don't have to criticise and belittle others because of our own hang-ups; we don't have to have the last word just to feel important or good; we don't have to hold back from being generous and helpful with our time, energies or resources, fearful of somehow losing out; we don't have to be grudging with our praise or forgiveness. Believe the best of everyone -- don't be one of those who wallow in feeling victimised, martyred or hurt, and then go around with a continual air of reproach (and you know we can do this in some of the subtlest, cruellest ways). As C.S. Lewis writes in The Business of Heaven: "Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbour; act as if you did".

Just the other day a certain aunt of mine called to remind me that I hadn't told someone that they needn't do something. Well yes, I'd quite forgotten to tell them because of... a bunch of reasons I won't bother to numerate out of self-pity. However, as I started to ask that she please tell that person on my behalf -- because she was right next to the person -- she said, "No, I'm not going to tell her -- you tell her, it's your responsibility".

Now honestly, I just did not understand this. I mean, she knew that the person needed to be told, she was right there, yet she deliberately chose not to help me because she obviously felt I had to be made to do it -- like a sort of punishment I suppose, so that I'd learn my lesson as it were.

BUT, I remembered then that I must walk in love -- it doesn't matter whether the other person does or not -- and that I must do so in even the little, everyday things, so that it truly becomes instinctive, a way of life. And so -- while in the past I may have reacted to my aunt with a string of frustrated explanations, or some cutting remark which would almost certainly have descended into a regrettable personal exchange -- I just laughed to myself. True, I was also doing a great deal of mental head-shaking, but at least I was keeping my mouth shut. For just as much as I could have reminded my aunt that love covers a multitude of sins, I too could do the same. Again, as Lewis writes in The Business of Heaven, "In our own case we accept excuses too easily, in other people's we do not accept them easily enough".

Inasmuch as my aunt can be demanding or difficult, so can I. It may be a question of which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg, but it doesn't really matter now -- I am no longer a child; I want to walk with God, and be mature in that walk, and that means I must walk in love. Increasingly, the Holy Spirit makes me conscious of the way I am with others -- including my own children -- and helps me to be patient and tolerant, slow to anger and quick to forgive or apologise, always believing the best. Ask God for the grace to do this; He wants us to walk in love for our good -- that we may have wonderful, uplifting relationships, and positively transform the world in which we live. If we can't even do it at home...

¹IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

²And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).

³Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.

⁴Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

⁵It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

⁶It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

⁷Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

⁸Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

⁹For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

¹⁰But when the complete and perfect (total) comes, the incomplete and imperfect will vanish away (become antiquated, void, and superseded).

¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.

¹²For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

¹³And so faith, hope, love abide [faith--conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things; hope--joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love--true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13, Amplified).

PS: In keeping with walking in love -- please pray for Japan and consider contributing practically toward relief efforts. These are some agencies you might consider:
Save the Children
Japan Society
The IFRC
World Vision International
The Salvation Army

on the privilege of being a parent

I posted a bunch of B's baby/toddler pictures on Flickr; I managed to find them after a good deal of hunting, and I thought I'd better post them on there just in case. Looking at them, I'm just amazed at how much my baby has grown in just 5 years. In the picture above, she was just 1, and I could still carry her and walk about without any problem. I couldn't lift her for more than 20 seconds now without worrying about my back!

Just look at that! Those chubby little arms, that round baby face... and now! I'm so so blessed to be a fulltime Mom -- it's a privilege I truly thank God (and my husband) for! I love being with my kids, I hate doing stuff without them; I'm so glad I can be present at, be a part of, every stage of my children's growing up.

I know families where both parents work and are so caught up with their own desires, their own money-making plans, that they don't have any time for their kids at all, or they don't put aside any time for them, don't give them any priority. Of course it is an excellent thing to provide for our children, to make sure they have good futures and are well taken care of, but don't miss out on their childhood. It really does go by so fast. You wouldn't want to be like some people I know who are now, as adults, far closer to their nanny or some aunt or friend, because their parents were too busy for them when they were growing up. And there's so much we can learn from little children, it would be a terrible shame to let it just pass us by.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matt 19:14).

Do appreciate, enjoy, cherish, downright savour your kids! Do stuff with them -- whether it's going to a movie, playing a game, reading a book together, doing a craft, chatting over tea, whatever -- don't just leave them somewhere with one of those idiotic handheld games.

As Richard Evans said, "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them". And as Oscar Wilde said, "Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them". There's nothing quite like a child's love -- let's make sure we deserve it.

I am blessed!!!!!!!

Today I went for a checkup, and God be praised, I am perfectly fine and all is well. The miraculous fact is -- I was not surprised. Why? Because God had filled me with a holy expectancy, and the wonderful, blessed assurance that all is well with me because I wait on Him and I AM in His good hands.

Now I certainly do not pretend to be Ms Super Christian -- powerful, fearless and incorruptible -- for I am far far from it. But as Joyce Meyer would say, while I may not yet be where I need to be in my Christian walk, I thank God that I'm not where I used to be. For God has taught me -- slowly but surely -- to not worry, to cast my cares on Him, and to trust Him to heal and deliver me in every area of my life. And YES -- again I say -- He IS faithful! He is, He is, He IS!

It is such a wonderful, wonderful thing to walk with God, to be in a close, personal relationship with Him. One hears His voice, feels His promptings, and it is so uplifting. When I got into the cab going home, almost the first thing I saw was a luminescent crucifix the driver had affixed to his dashboard. It was like a sign! And I just declared to him, "God is really great!" And he replied, "Yes, He really is!".

We were quiet for some time after that, but after awhile I just felt compelled to tell him how faithful God is, how He had reassured me about my checkup, and that indeed, I AM FINE! And I added, "I honestly would not be able to function without God". And this fellow, he must be at least 70, must have felt really encouraged, because then he started telling me how he had been through many trials and tribulations in his own life, but God had seen him through them all. He kept talking and talking, virtually non-stop, telling me story after story, the entire length of the journey (and that's a good half hour). And he also said, "Life is fragile. We shouldn't live what I call 'an imitation life', placing all our emphasis on externals, on being glamourous, on the superficial. Everything God blesses us with, we should use to bless others". How true! It's wonderful, reaching out to people. You can learn a lot!

Me, I just want to say, if you're going through a challenging time, hold fast to your faith and keep praying, keep praying, keep praying. God cares about you affectionately and watchfully, and He IS faithful to deliver.

Some time ago, I wrote my thoughts on this to a dear friend of mine:

I think everyone's way of walking with God is personal and unique, but what I have found very helpful is setting aside specific time every morning and evening to wait on God and talk to Him. I find these times of prayer very uplifting. They help me to get back on the right path as it were -- to remember and thank God for all my blessings (so easy for me to forget in self-pity and negativity), to repent of my sins (and that includes self-pity and negativity), and to reassert such blessed truths as -- God is always with me, God loves me, and God is faithful to deliver me. Waiting on God in the morning helps me to start my day right -- because have you noticed how sometimes you can just wake up feeling negative and depressed? And then you let that drag you down the rest of the day? I find it does wonders to immediately acknowledge God, to align my spirit, my thoughts and feelings with Him, and to get into agreement with Him, not the devil.

For me, praying through my day is very helpful too. Like before I eat, or basically whenever I want to acknowledge Him, or thank Him, or ask Him to keep me from that pit! The more I let God into my life, the more I let Him be in control, the more peace and joy I have. I ask for His help to "shake off the junk". And I keep asking Him to give me the grace to press on through the "interval".

Have I told you about this "interval"? In case I haven't, it's what one might call the crappy in-between part one sometimes has to go through. In Mark, ch4, you can read:

³⁵On that same day [when] evening had come, He said to them, Let us go over to the other side [of the lake].

³⁶And leaving the throng, they took Him with them, [just] as He was, in the boat [in which He was sitting]. And other boats were with Him.

³⁷And a furious storm of wind [of hurricane proportions] arose, and the waves kept beating into the boat, so that it was already becoming filled.

³⁸But He [Himself] was in the stern [of the boat], asleep on the [leather] cushion; and they awoke Him and said to Him, Master, do You not care that we are perishing?

³⁹And He arose and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, Hush now! Be still (muzzled)! And the wind ceased (sank to rest as if exhausted by its beating) and there was [immediately] a great calm (a perfect peacefulness).

⁴⁰He said to them, Why are you so timid and fearful? How is it that you have no faith (no firmly relying trust)?

⁴¹And they were filled with great awe and feared exceedingly and said one to another, Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey Him?

And then -- after the stormy "interval" -- "They came to the other side of the sea". Well, I think you know what I'm trying to say with this right? God is always with us, He WILL see us safely through, and we WILL come out on the other side. We just have to have faith and press on with a good, bold attitude. I need God's grace to do so, and so I ask Him for it. Sometimes it seems like God is "asleep in the boat" and we start panicking, but we have to remember HE IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL and though we are not, it is enough that we know the One who is.

In order to enjoy God's wonderful blessings and plans for us, WE have to do our part -- consciously staying positive and peaceful, not being complainy, envious and negative -- trusting to God's timing and deliverance -- and ensuring that the thoughts in our head and the words coming out from our mouths are in agreement with Him. Cliched as it may sound -- we really must count our blessings!

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).

Wake up every day declaring "GOD LOVES ME!!!!!!! I AM BLESSED!!!!!!! I AM EXPECTING GOD'S FAVOUR EVERYWHERE I GO!!!!!!!"