Wednesday, May 25, 2011

my Bonnie -- who died today, aged 10

In their deaths they were not divided.

My beautiful blue-eyed Bonnie has died. Just over two months since Radar, her lifelong partner, left. I knew that with Radar’s passing, Bonnie just wouldn’t be the same anymore, and indeed, she did become more and more depressed, spending her days just sitting and staring, like many a despondent nursing home inmate. A lonely old age is a very sad thing, and of course I knew that I could never be to Bonnie what Radar had been.

I will always remember Bonnie for the wonderful feistiness she had hidden under her gentle exterior. She gave way to Radar in a lot of things, but she also bossed him around in others. She knew what she wanted, and she went for it – whether it was raisins, or kicking out the gigantic New Zealand white rabbit rescue who temporarily came to stay.

A younger Bonnie and a younger B.

I guess it was that quiet spiritedness that kept her going to such a ripe old age, but it was still so very sad to see her slowly slipping away. At the same time, I felt that perhaps she didn’t mind going so much, because her quality of life just wasn’t the same anymore. Besides the fact that Radar was gone, she was in pain and gradually lost the ability to hold herself up, so that she could no longer do anything basic for herself. Knowing how fastidious she was, that couldn’t have helped her feelings.

Except for the temporary paralysis she endured from a spinal injury when she was about five, Bonnie was the most easy to care for rabbit I’d ever known (besides Radar of course, who never gave any problems either). People would tell me about all the various ailments their rabbits had – from mites and sore hocks to serious GI trouble – and I always marvelled at how Bonnie and Radar were so straightforward and uncomplicated.

I used to joke in the past that I wasn’t really a “rabbit person” – Bonnie and Radar were rescues who literally dropped into my life – I am therefore eternally grateful to both of them for introducing me to the fascinating world of rabbits, and showing me that rabbits really are as responsive, smart, quirky and loving as any cat or dog one might know, or be more accustomed to.

My sweet Bonnie toward the end; she could no longer lift her head.

Just as I used to marvel at how easy Bonnie and Radar were, I used also to marvel at their hardiness, and my Mom and I used to say they seemed like they would live forever. But of course, nothing does… the years pass, and Bonnie’s once lush dark fur became lighter and flecked with white… and finally I said good night to her as I stroked her head and saw the sparkle go out from her lovely eyes, so unusual and blue like cornflowers. O Bonnie, Bonnie, I miss you so. It is so painful to realise how much someone means to you when they have gone.

Bonnie rests next to Radar now, and roses will grow over her grave as they do over his.

In a place of enchantment where the wild things are known
Will the future remember when the lovers are gone

And I see them dancing somewhere in the moonlight
Somewhere in Alaska, somewhere in the sun
I hear them singing a song for all lovers
A song for the two hearts beating only as one
A song for the two hearts beating only as one

From John Denver's A Song For All Lovers


Dana S. Whitney said...

" was still so very sad to see her slowly slipping away. At the same time, I felt that perhaps she didn’t mind going so much..."
And this is a lesson that can benefit all of us... who think we ought to be immortal. If we can live and be feisty when it is appropriate (giving in when appropriate, too), and then allow ourselves to know that we don't have to fight (or feist) any more.
And perhaps that we can continue on for the benefit of a rose or two.

Fdoeppen said...

Oh, how sad to loose a loved one!
But she's in Heaven and one day we all are gonna meet again :)
Enjoy the beautiful roses she's gonna bring to you in appreciation to all the love and care she received.
Big hug for you girls

Crazy Life of a Writing Mom said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Kris said...

you just made me cry :(

I'm sorry that she has to go but she's gone on to a better place where she has Radar with her, right?

*hugs* love you lots..

I hope the girls are ok too


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